“So I borrowed the truck yesterday and of course the old man's presence was still very much there. All of the peeling lefty bumper stickers, the veteran's plate, the cab cluttered with crap – returnables, rope, grass clippings and of course his pipes and loose tobacco strewn about. Still smells like that pipe in there. And on the floor I found this book. I assume the old man found it while cleaning the Beach and thought it would make a nice gift, perhaps a stocking stuffer for Johnson. Hanji and I pawed through it and laughed hysterically (and cried a bit). Unfortunately, we weren't able to get past page 30, because (and I kid you not) the pages were all stuck together. Friggin’ old man.”

I’ve been outnumbered in this family since the day our first son was born; he was followed by sons two and three. I can only imagine what raising three girls would have been like, but probably nothing like boys. I doubt that the brothers always include me in their back and forth emails, but the above message, which arrived in my mailbox on Mother’s Day, was my gift. The book (yes, I’d noticed it there on the floor) is one of those little things like 101 Things to do with a Dead Cat. You might flip through it in a shop, then put it back and forget it. Or, if like some of our relatives, think “this would be perfect for Uncle Harry” and actually buy it.

 It was surely one he found on a bench at the Beach last summer, or in one of the trash barrels he emptied every morning. And he did tell me he was saving it for his nephew, who appreciated such things. The cover of the book on the floor of our truck (included in the email, but which I wont’ share on the Pilot) has the photo of a phallic-looking cloud, and the brilliant title: It Looks Like a C***! Naturally, I’d glanced through a few pages, saw it was more of the same and tossed it back on the floor, intending to throw it out. But son number three found it instead.

 And I’m reminded all over again that I’m not the only one mourning that man; he was “their old man” as much as mine. Finding that silly book amongst the junk on the floor of his truck fit right in with the way they saw their dad. A bit raunchy, more than a bit rebellious, he never judged them, rarely lectured (although there was one iconic moment when one of them nearly failed algebra and was promised that unless he brought the grade up “all the good things in life will be over for you, Mistah”). He was a great dad to boys, happy to see them develop on their own into whomever they were meant to be.  We rarely disagreed about my way as a mom or his way as a dad. I was profoundly grateful, every day of our lives, for the father he was to them.

When Wally died I wasn’t surprised. I knew it was coming, had been preparing for it all our lives together. Maybe it’s just the way I do things, anticipating the worst, then figuring our how I’ll survive. Not much in the way of magical thinking going on. Dead is gone.

But your parents? They’re such a foundation to your life that imagining them gone is a bit like imagining them having sex: the offspring’s mind just doesn’t go there. Watching the reactions of our sons and of our daughters-in-law that night, I saw shock, as if “this can’t be happening.”

Tuesday May 16, Special Town Meeting, 6 p.m. in Walsh Common, to vote on the 2017-2018 LCS school budget. According to state law the school budget is considered separately from the regular town budget which is voted on in June. The total budget, which you can see at the above link to the warrant, is for $3,382,859.60; both the School Committee and the Budget Committee recommend this amount.

Tuesday, May 23 the Five Town CSD Annual Budget Meeting will be held at 7 p.m. at Camden Hills Regional High School. For those who may be new to town, Lincolnville is part of the Five Town CSD (Community School District), the entity which runs CHRHS where our students go.

Finally, here is the Warrant for Lincolnville’s Annual Town Meeting, which will be voted on in two parts – Articles 1-5 at the polls on Tuesday, June 13 at LCS, and the remaining articles in the open meeting on Thursday June 15, 6 p.m. at the Community Building. Note that the articles to be voted on by secret ballot at the polls include the town officers as well as proposed Harbor Ordinance amendments and establishment of a Wastewater Capital Reserve Account.

The date for the grade 6-8 Spring Concert has been changed to Friday, May 26, 6:30 p.m. in Walsh Common.

Partners for Enrichment brought their popular Author’s Day to LCS a week ago with Jean Flahive and Judy Thyng reading Jean’s book The Galloping Horses of Willowbrook  to grades K-2. Grades 3-5 were visited by Romni Arno, author of “middle-grade and young adult novels that illustrate the tough decisions preteens sometimes have to make.” Romni, who lives in Lincolnville, talked about Ruby Reinvented  which takes place in Camden. The middle school students heard from T.H. (Trevor Howard) Paul, author of The Legacy Chronicle – The Sword. T.H. actually started the book while in high school and only recently published it. He’s a teacher at Hebron Academy.

Seventh graders have wrapped up their year working on “Stories of the Land and Its People”, the collaborative arts program that LCS participates in along with the Appleton, Camden-Rockport, Hope, Rockland, and Waldoboro schools. A presentation of the year’s work will held at the Strand Theatre in Rockland at 1 p.m. this Sunday, May 21, followed by the opening of the exhibit of their projects at the Farnsworth, right across from the Strand, from 2-5 p.m. 

Eighth graders will be enjoying their class trip to Quebec City June 1-3. They graduate on June 15.

Sheila Polson writes: “Everyone is invited to join the Book Group this Tuesday, May 16 at 6 p.m. for a discussion of My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante. According to Goodreads, the book is a ‘meticulous portrait of two women that is also the story of a nation and a touching meditation on the nature of friendship.’ Some people say they love this book and the Italian author’s entire Neapolitan Novel series; others aren't so enthusiastic. The book group would love to hear what people who have read it think.

“The Library’s annual Memorial Day plant and book sale will be Monday, May 29, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. It will include a wonderful variety of vegetable and flower seedlings plus perennial plants, many of them raised locally. There will also be a large selection of popular novels, historical fiction, gardening and cookbooks, children’s favorites, and more, as well as a 50–50 raffle. 

 “Donations for the sale of perennial plants and flower and vegetable seedlings, all potted and labeled, are welcome and may be dropped off at the library beginning May 20. The library also welcomes donations of books in excellent condition. All proceeds from the sale will go to help keep the library and its many services and programs thriving.”

Don’t miss Lincolnville’s newest novelist, Marge Olson, talking about her recently published book, Kindred Journeys this Wednesday, May 17, 7 p.m. at the Library. I just finished reading it, and found it one of those books you can’t put down, with believable and vivid characters in a plot with a surprise ending. On a rainy afternoon I lay on the couch and read through to the end.

Tranquility Grange’s opening event, their Spring Fling, will be held this Saturday, May 20. The Lincolnville Band will begin playing around 4 p.m., as diners begin lining up for the 5 p.m. Bean, Casserole and Homemade Pie Supper. At 6, after the dishes are cleared away, settle in for a real Lincolnville Variety Show as local talent of all stripes will perform on the Grange’s old stage. Tickets sold at the door are $10 for adults, $5 for those 5-12 and the under 4s and over 90s get in free. Questions? Call Don at 763-3254.

 And by the way, both the Grange and United Christian Church (see below) are on the Historic Registry. Check out the interior of Tranquility, built in 1908, with its pressed tin ceiling and walls, old wainscoting and stage.

The United Christian Church (UCC) invites the public to a rare springtime performance by the Mount View High School Chamber Singers on Sunday, May 21, 4:00 p.m. at the church at 18 Searsmont Road.  We’ve only heard them performing "Carols in the Round" at Christmastime, but this year icy roads kept them away in December.  This special concert has been scheduled to make up for that. The program will feature music from 11^th century Latin text music to more recent creations.

 The Mount View High School Chamber Singers, under their long-serving director, David Stevenson, is one of the top choral groups in New England. They’ve been performing at UCC for over 20 years, though always at Christmas. If you’ve never been inside the old Meeting House in the Center that is the home of the UCC, here’s a chance to see it. Built in 1821 the church has its original box pews, complete with little wooden turn buttons, balcony and swirly old glass windows.

 All are welcome to this special concert and the reception which will follow. There is no admission fee but donations are welcome and will benefit the Chamber Singers who will also have CDs for sale. Doors will open at 3:30 p.m.  For further information call Mary Schulien, UCC music director, at 785-3521.

Lincolnville’s oldest resident, Marvin “Red” Garner, passed away last week at the age of 101.

And sympathy to the family and friends of Sandy Nisbet, who also died last week.