Making Change, a support group for Midcoast teens, offers a safe, open meeting space

For teens who have no one else to talk to

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 1:30pm

CAMDEN — One of the upshots of living in a small town community like the Midcoast is that so many people know each other and are willing to help one another out.

Then, there are some teenagers who walk around our towns as if they belong to a shadowland. You don't see them. You don't really make eye contact with them. You don't know anything about them.

But, they're there and just like some of us, just trying to figure it out.

Nate Larlee, an instructor at Zenith Alternative Program, along with Jeff Brawn and Frannie Wheeler-Berta, conceived of this idea about two and half years ago to be a sounding board for teens who weren't getting support at home.

In 2012, Larlee was able to establish an informal program to provide a space to meet weekly and to help teens cope with serious issues and obstacles they were dealing with. As it's been well documented, drugs, binge drinking and depression are some of the biggest problems for teens in our community.

Some of teens who would come to this group meeting were worried about the way their own lives are starting to turn or worried about their friends who were drinking, smoking or doing drugs. Some of them were exhausted battling with their parents or stuck in dysfunctional relationships. Some had no place to live or were starting to turn down a dark path.

"There are teenagers out there who are contemplating changing something about their lives, but they don't know how to go about it," said Larlee. "A lot of these kids need a counselor, but the problem is, the first barrier they usually encounter is being asked if they have insurance to cover it or not. These kids just want to talk to somebody. They don't want to go through all that."

The informal group has now developed into a more structured program called Making Change. Larlee and other facilitators lead ongoing, weekly drop-in meetings for teens each Monday at the Chestnut Street Baptist Church.

These meetings are secular and don't adhere to any specific model (like AA). Rather, they allow a safe, open and confidential gathering space for teens to talk to trusted adults (and older peers) about the challenges in their lives. The group doesn't have a licensed counselor on hand. Larlee explained that it works better if he just provides an initial starting point to be able to listen to the kids. If they start to move towards wanting to making positive changes in their lives, he acts as a liaison connecting them to counselors, homeless outreach counselors, and substance abuse programs that can assist them with specific services. Occasionally, Juvenile Justice officers refer teens to attend the Monday meetings as a part of the conditions of their probation.

"What I try to do is open their awareness of the choices they are making in their lives and let them hear themselves talk. Then, we ask how those choices are affecting them," said Larlee

Some of the questions frequently posed to the group include:

·When did life start getting difficult?
·What is going well right now? What is not going well?
·Who are the people in your life that you can count on, no matter what?
·Who is counting on you?

Several of Larlee's Zenith students have joined the group and his role for them changes the moment they walk through the door. He's no longer their "teacher;" he's just genuinely interested in what's going on in their lives. "I think it is important for these teens to think about their life a little more reflectively,” he said. “They don't often talk to each other about the decisions they have made in a safe space like this.”

Some of the older group participants, now in their early 20s, have actually come back to sit in on the group and help some of the younger teens. Larlee's mantra is: "Watch out for one another."

''My hope for this program is that the teens who come regularly will refer their friends to the program when they are struggling with a difficult life situation," he said.

Each week, a cadre of local volunteers provide a hot meal for the meeting such as: lasagna, homemade pizza or shepherd's pie. For some teens, this is one of the biggest draws: To be able to come into an inviting, warm space with people they know and trust and just be able to enjoy a peaceful dinner.

"A lot of times after a chaotic weekend, they just want to come by and sit with kids they know and be able to just talk about what happened and process through it," said Larlee.

Making Change is soon on its way to becoming a 501(c)(3). Larlee is offering two informational sessions April 14 and April 28 at the Camden Opera House at 6 p.m. These sessions are for any adult or teen who want to know what Making Change is all about and if it's a good fit for certain teens ages 14-19.

Group meetings are every Monday 5 to 6 p.m. Drop in meeting time with Larlee are before from 4 to 5 p.m.


Kay Stephens can be reached at news@penbaypilot.com