Dear Old Guy welcomes letters on all subjects, including love, marriage, child rearing, even basic plumbing and medical advice. What he doesn’t know, he is happy to make up. After all, he’s just an opinionated Old Guy. Submit your questions to Dear Old Guy here.

Dear Old Guy,

          I am a third generation grocery store snacker. As I shop I’ll open up a box or a bag in my cart and begin to eat. I plan to buy the item so I see nothing wrong with it. It’s something I remember both my mother and grandmother doing. The problem is with my daughter. She is now seven and really objects that I eat while I shop. I was really hoping Sylvia would carry on the family tradition but now I’m not so sure. Do I stop just because she finds it objectionable? Am I, as Sylvia says, stealing? Your input is very important. Thanks.

                    Signed, A little Nosh at the market never hurt anyone

Dear A little Nosh,

          I don’t know a parent out there who isn’t disappointed when their child rejects long-standing family traditions. I can tell you this: The problem you describe would never happen in China where children are taught to respect their elders, and where there’s a real lack of grocery stores; but, I digress.

          On the face of it Sylvia sees you as stealing, a problem which causes her angst and possible embarrassment. Certainly you can understand her view. I think at this point your daughter is old enough to grasp that, in fact, the store is just making you a loan of the food, the same way a dealership makes you a loan of a car until you pay it off or a bank lends you your home until the mortgage is settled. On the other hand, if you were doing what a certain unnamed mother of mine did, which is to eat half a bag of cookies and put the remainder back on the shelf before heading for the checkout line, then yes, that is stealing. Notice how I didn’t use names.

Now, mother, back to Sylvia. Since it’s important to you for this family tradition to continue, let’s take a look:

You didn’t say exactly what sort of foods you’re grazing as you shop but, if it’s Fig Newtons or generic Bran Bars then it’s time to move over to the candy isle. Trust me, when young Sylvia sees her boring, dull as dead grass mom dig into a bag of Hershey’s Kisses, yum, it won’t be long before she drops her objections.

One more suggestion that might help. Besides doing the above, find another behavior of yours that Sylvia disdains, then help her focus instead on that one. I’m sure there’s something you can come up with.... See you in Isle 6! —O.G.

Dear Old Guy,

          With all the snow this winter, I’ve been getting into a major argument with my wife. I’m in my 50s, reasonably healthy, but Martina won’t let me shovel. Instead, she insists on paying the neighbor’s kid to clear the walk. For me it isn’t about the money, it’s just that my feelings are hurt to know Martina thinks I’m less of a man than I used to be. I know the statistics about heart attacks and digging snow but I’m not one of those guys! Is there something you can suggest so I can convince my wife to let me do the work?

                                                  Signed, Don’t need Viagra, just a shovel

Dear Don’t Need,

          I understand your point entirely. It stinks that after you turn 50 the world begins to view you as less capable. Now, we both know getting older doesn’t guarantee you are less capable, just less relevant. But that’s another discussion.

          I suggest you do what I did. When my wife recited the statistics about guys and snow and heart attacks I just gave her a copy of my will. Now she is very encouraging and even has hot cocoa waiting for me if I dig out the house of the widow across the road. —O.G.

Dear Old Guy,

          I have been reading in the news how nowadays corporations are considered to be people. What’s your take on that?

                                                           Signed, Are they really?

Dear, Are they,

          I suppose corporations are people, and like people enough of them are schmucks so that the rest of us are miserable. Hope I’ve answered your question? —O.G.