A personal story

A colonoscopy, part 1

Everything you should know about why you should schedule one today
Mon, 01/22/2018 - 10:00am

This morning I had a cup of coffee, with whole milk and a spoonful of cocoa.

I had two pieces of toast with butter, a wedge of cheese, and an orange, too.

A good way to begin any day, but that relatively meager breakfast was especially enjoyable because it was the first one I’d had in three days.

I had a colonoscopy yesterday. And if Katie Couric could have one on live television for all the world to see, I figure I can describe the event to Midcoast Maine.

Scheduling a colonoscopy is important. It can reduce your risk of getting colon cancer. 

I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis around 30 years ago, and regularly scheduled colonoscopies are part of the deal, as there’s an increased risk of developing colon cancer in IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) patients.

I haven’t had colonoscopies as regularly as I should have, though. Yesterday’s only marked my seventh or eighth.

I realized a few months ago that it had been over eight years since my last one. My primary care physician had told me several times I needed to schedule one. Like too many people I know, I kept putting it off. As old hat as they are to me, I can think of a hundred ways I’d rather spend a day – or two.

The prep for the exam, to clean out the colon, has changed several times over the years since my first colonoscopy 30 years ago.

Harvard Medical School’s Dr. Anthony Komaroff states on the askdrk.com website: “Preparing for (a) colonoscopy is often more unpleasant than the procedure itself. It involves dietary restrictions, powerful laxatives and diarrhea.”

Enough said.

I’ve had colonoscopies at a clinic in Augusta, Pen Bay Medical Center in Rockport, at Mid Coast Hospital in Brunswick, and at the Lahey Clinic in Burlington, Massachusetts. Each involved different preparations, and all were miserable, until the Jan. 16 one.

My first prep all those years ago called for drinking a gallon and a half of a salty-sweet solution, a glass every half hour, that had to be cold. I remember sitting on a couch wrapped up in a down comforter, shivering. And every sip of the awful-tasting stuff was nausea-inducing.

The prep changed after that, probably because after going through it once, people were cancelling followups.

The easiest one required drinking two small bottles of a solution. Unfortunately, that one was thrown by the wayside for lack of the desired result. After that it was all downhill for too many years, back to the dreaded gallon or more of the nausea-inducing salty liquid. Eating salty food is great. Drinking salty water is anything but.

I told the attending physician at my last one, eight years ago, before yesterday’s, that if the prep didn’t change I’d never have another colonoscopy. I meant it at the time, but fear of colon cancer won out.

I prepared for my latest exam with a fair amount of trepidation, mostly for fear of the outcome. It had, after all, been way too long between colonoscopies for me. But luckily the prep part was a breeze compared to past ones.

Here’s what it now involves: Limit your diet for four days before the procedure to low fiber foods: No whole healthy whole grain cereals or breads, no nuts, seeds, dried fruit, or raw fruits or vegetables.

On the day before, no solid foods. Just clear liquids like broth, black coffee or tea, clear fruit juice, soft drinks, sports drinks, Jell-O and Popsicles. Stock up on that stuff, and toilet paper.

At around noon you’ll pop a couple Dulcolax tablets and mix up a container of Miralax (or a less costly generic brand) with 64 oz. water or a clear juice, and drink half over the course of the next couple hours. If you’ve ever had to drink the salty stuff you’ll feel almost grateful for this.

Then prepare yourself for the cleansing. I don’t think I have to describe it, but try to keep a positive attitude, knowing how squeaky-clean your colon will be.

On the big day, if your appointment is before noon, you’ll want to set your alarm clock for four hours before you have to head out, because you have to drink the remaining half of the Miralax mixture, and allow at least two hours before getting in the car, for obvious reasons.

In Part Two I’ll tell you about the actual event, which most people either sleep through, thanks to the relaxing meds, or simply have no memory of, thanks to Versed.

But I’ll describe it in great detail. I have vivid memories of most of the seven or eight colonoscopies I’ve had. For some reason, they can’t knock me out, no matter how hard they try. Not only do I remain awake and alert throughout the whole thing, I remember all the gory details, including watching the live movie of the inside of my colon as the scope makes its way along the entire length of it. It’s fascinating. Don’t worry – I wasn’t allowed to take pics during the procedure.

During the colonoscopy eight years ago, as I was watching that movie, at one point the doctor stopped and said, “What the ...” I saw what she was referring to and started laughing. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I was starving this morning and ate a bowlful of lime Jell-O just before I left the house.”